Every time..

Every damn time, when I think about it, I must always cry. That is the only way I can cope with it. Every memory I have about that night. Every memory is sealed in my brain, sealed in my blood.

When he came into my room, that was when I knew I couldn’t stop him. He moved slowly and gently, like a poisonous snake. The beast crawled into the bed, moving from my feet, upwards. My legs, my stomach, my chest, neck, and head, were all now controlled by him. So what else could I do? Fight him? No, he held my hands tight to his.

He kissed me. Oh how crazy! Who in this world kisses his prey before killing? You don’t see lions kissing zebras. So why did he have to kiss me? Leave a mark? Saying, “This one’s mine”? That is horrible, but what followed next was worse. The way he touched me, the way I had to touch him. If I really had a say in this I promise you I would’ve never permitted this.

I must say. I must really admit, that the only way I could keep myself from killing him, was the thought that soon it would be over. How foolish of me! It never was over, it never is. Now I must walk the streets of a filthy town, wearing filthy clothes and having that terrible thought that I. I! of all the other preys in this world, I had to be the one. The one who got taken by him, my own son.

“Cheek To Cheek”

We’ll be dancing, cheek to cheek

with the music turned up high.

And the melody will make us fly

in the room that is our life.

God will tell us all

“what a beautiful couple”.

God will show us all

what love really is.

And the world will float

on the river of the night,

I will sing a sweet song

about our marriedĀ life.

God will play the piano,

a sweet, warm melody.

God will show us all,

that love still exists.

And when I see you in that dress,

in the dress that makes you smile.

I’ll caress you with my hands

while the clocks stop the time.

“Longing For The Stars”

I have never seen the moon shine so brightly,

my eyes will never be the same.

As the stars appear on the blue sky,

the sky that hides the universe.

And as the trees

grow in the shade;

so shall I,

living in darkness.

And as the moon


So shall I,

into the night.

I have never felt so many emotions,

my heart will never be the same.

As the sun shows its face,

my hands will touch the sky.

“He’s Silent In My Head”

I want

someone to tell me

that I’m home

but all I’ve got,

is a man inside

my own head

he calls me,

he makes me crazy.

Cause I need

some approval

or else I’ll jump

in the sewer.

where no one

can find my rotting corpse.

I want

my God

to tell me

that I’m home

but all I’ve got

is silence and fears.

It calls me.

It makes me crazy.


“Clowns Don’t Cry”

Clowns don’t cry,

though we have reasons to.

Our makeup is slowly fading,

I’m afraid they may see why.

For we clowns,

we can’t show,

our tears rolling down,

into the sadness of despair.

But I can’t,

though I want so much.

That is our rule,

clowns don’t cry.

So I could just

drive to the end of the world,

and ask him face to face.

Where are my eyes?

Where am I?

Where shall I go?

When the kids are all grown up.

And my work is done.

Oh, I want to smile,

but my mouth is woven sad.

And my eyes could have cried,

but clowns don’t cry.

Clowns don’t cry.