“The Swallow”

I have a swallow in my closet.

There, it has sung to me

the deepest secrets I couldn’t understand.

The answer of why I live.

So the swallow danced

and showed me the world.

There I saw blood,

there I saw pain in my soul.

I begged the swallow,

to show me something else.

So it showed me it’s feathers,

drenched in oil so black.

Oil made from the crushed dreams

we all try to forget.

The weight of the truth

pushed me to it’s eyes,

When the swallow blinked

I fell a tear with surprise.

When it blinked again

I fell to my knees.

And when it blinked again

i fell it’s wings around my tears

And maybe it was because I felt safe,

or maybe because I wasn’t;

that I let the swallow grab me.

It grabbed my nightmares and locked them in a closet.

And for a short time,

while I saw the world beneath my feet,

I felt like nothing could touch me,

no problems I could reach.

 

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You saved my soul

last night when we talked.

You took med down

from the hanging rope.

Your hand touched my heart

I felt like flying high,

my dark past took me down

and I slowly sank.

Why couldn’t you do

like you did once before

grab my heart with your light soul

and pull me out of this rotting sand.

I feel like a fool

to have trusted you at all

you’re like the other monsters

I never let go.

And so I lay down on my bed,

my body full of pills.

I wonder when they’ll start

and this sad song will end.

“The Whores Behind The Church”

They took me behind my mind,

touched my hands drenched in lies.

And I never felt so good,

like God always should.

But I guess the whores behind the church know best,

of what is good.

But I fight,

because I know what is true.

No way they love me,

don’t know why they should.

They get paid,

a soul per hour, a smile for a kiss.

The whores behind the church give the best

of what the most I miss.

 

 

 

Mom

Mom,

I’m sorry I came late.

I think I drank too much,

becauseĀ I found myself some love.

And,

And I think she’s the one,

the one I always burned for

when in bed I cried alone.

I’ll never forget you,

when we’ll move away.

I’ll call every day

and every day I’ll love

The sound of your voice,

when the thunder crashed you sang to me.

Now I sing to my kids those songs

that always helped me along.

So

This is what you meant,

when you told me I would be

somebody else’s dream.

But

I don’t think I can

tell to my kids,

they won’t see you like this.

Cause it’s always dark,

when I close my eyes,

and I miss you every day,

and every day I’ll cry

 

I’ll always miss your light voice

when the thunder crashed you sang to me.

Now those songs are just memories,

and my kids won’t remember you.

 

“He’s Silent In My Head”

I want

someone to tell me

that I’m home

but all I’ve got,

is a man inside

my own head

he calls me,

he makes me crazy.

Cause I need

some approval

or else I’ll jump

in the sewer.

where no one

can find my rotting corpse.

I want

my God

to tell me

that I’m home

but all I’ve got

is silence and fears.

It calls me.

It makes me crazy.